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Logan sent her former boyfriend a nude picture of herself through her cell phone, and a year later after they broke up he forwarded the picture to his friends, who then forwarded it to others.

and the subject of “sexting” was brought up…

I was at a school this week working with some middle school students on some music for their upcoming ROCKSTAR SUPERSTAR PROJECT KLUB event and the subject of “sexting” was brought up by the students. It seems more and more teenagers are sending these racy, revealing texts, which sometimes include partially clothed or even nude pictures of themselves, to the cell phones of friends and others. I have read that sexting is occurring but in talking with the group I didn’t realize it was this common and more importantly, viewed as acceptable by our teens and young adults.

As the students were talking about sexting, a pit in my stomach began to develop. How have so many youth become desensitized to setting boundaries around their bodies and to embracing values that promote personal responsibility? To think that kids as young as 12 are reportedly sending sexually inappropriate photos and texts to one another really makes me sad and concerned for our youth. Gone seems the connection to that world of right and wrong and respect for our bodies; those values I was raised with. Now, we’ve become just a world of fast paced digital seduction and our kids are engaging in this.

And what if that picture gets in the wrong hands?

In 2009, Jessie was an 18 year old student who was about to graduate high school. Her whole future was in front of her. She reportedly had sent a nude picture of herself to her boyfriend but when the couple broke up, her now ex-boyfriend sent this private picture to hundreds of students at various schools around her hometown.

The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Essential Guide to Staying Sober - written by Super Star

Jessie talked to the media about how embarrassed and humiliated she was. She said she was being harassed and teased by other students; at home, at school and when she was out in her community. Jessie went to the media to warn other parents and kids so others would not have to go through the same torture she had to endure.

“She was called filthy names, had things thrown at her,” said Jessie’s mom. “Every single place she went they knew about that picture, they saw the picture. They knew about the picture! It’s abuse. She was abused.”

Jessie’s mom said the moment her daughter’s private picture was sent out for everyone to see, things spiraled out of control for Jessie. Her grades plummeted, she started skipping school and when she had found the courage to go to school, she would hide in the bathroom to avoid being teased.

Just eight months later, Jessie’s mom walked into her room to check on her and found Jessie hanging in her closet. Her cell phone was in the middle of the floor. The teasing was too much to for her to endure. Jessie was dead.

This is a tragic story and my heart ached for Jessie’s family. After hearing the conversations with the other students earlier this week and reading about Jessie, I felt it was an important opportunity to blog about “sexting” and how it seems it has become somewhat normalized with our teens and that it’s very much connected to bullying.

My personal belief is that sexting is an indication of a lack of self-respect for oneself. I see the values that were instilled within me when I was in high school are now disappearing across the country. So how do we change this? How do we teach personal responsibility or self-respect or even self-love? How do we help our kids to see there is great value in respecting ourselves through respecting our bodies?

There are ways we as adults can acknowledge our personal responsibility to help diminish the impact of sexting. Do you know that parents can call their cell phone carrier and have picture messaging disabled? This is one way to slightly make an impact by not allowing pictures to be passed on their child’s phone. While it may address the issue on the surface, it is a start. Yet to really combat this issue we need to reach deep down within and take a look at the values that are creating a culture of weakening boundaries for our kids’ bodies and themselves within our homes, our schools and our community. Personal responsibility means having those crucial conversations when the opportunities occur with the children in our lives; asking ourselves and our children to look at it from a less judgmental more curious perspective. These are the questions I want answers to.

What’s going on that someone would want to send a sexually inappropriate picture or text to another?

And equally if not more important, why would someone pass that same photo on to others when it clearly violates the rights of another human being?

Why are we not looking out each other and instead doing things that hurt another? Where is the personal responsibility in that?

I don’t have children of my own but if I did I would want them to know the value of self-respect and self-love and that these values are the responsibility for each of us to carry on. That having self-respect and self-love fills voids that could never be filled by another person or experience or substance and that is truly the greatest pleasure of all.

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Heroes shine on

There are so many heroes amongst us. Some are living, some have moved beyond. But all of them have inspired someone in some way. When I think of heroes I think of teachers, a great parent, someone who has left a positive and everlasting impact on someone else.

The First 30 Days to Serenity: The Essential Guide to Staying Sober - written by Super Star

Recently the rock world lost a hero of its own. Riot guitarist Mark Reale passed away on Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 at the age of 56 from complications of Crohn’s disease. He was a fine example of such a hero. A man whose music inspired generations of musicians; a man who helped me literally find my way home at a few times when I needed direction.
 
Both my brother Rock Star and I are Riot fans. I can recall seeing one of their videos on MTV. I couldn’t stop watching it. I loved the look, the music, the attitude. And then one day my brother took a trip to the mall and came back with one of their CD’s. Their music seemed masterful and the fire that it created within me was always one to inspire.

Mark’s passing really hit home for me. Here we have a guy, who had battled Crohn’s for most of his life, working and performing while enduring almost constant pain and the side effects of treatment for his illness. Yet he always seemed to have a smile on his face. He didn’t sell a trillion albums and didn’t seem to care if he did. His passion was one for music. That’s all he cared about and that’s why we cared so much for him. There is a huge an obvious lesson in his story.

Living is doing something that you love. I am doing it now. That is something that Mark did. How he led his life has been an example of how I want to spend the rest of mine — working with others to extend a hand and offering encouragement when needed and hope to inspire. I can only do this by following the heroes that have come before us. Mark is a hero and his legacy will continue through those that are willing to do what he had the courage to fight for; his own happiness. Seeing how he kept it until the end will inspire me to do the same.

I didn’t know Mark personally but I did have plans to contact him in the next few weeks to ask for his involvement with the next ROCKSTAR SUPERSTAR PROJECT CD. It’s sad to me I can’t have him perform on it but beautiful to know that I would have never come this far if I hadn’t finally gotten sober to follow his example.
As I go to schools and talk to kids about the dangers of substance use my message is about waking up every day and doing the next right thing. I tell them that’s how heroes are born. Eyes are always watching for the next individual to rise up and make a change for the better. There will be many more heroes born into this world but there will only be one Mark Reale.

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